My Coping Strategies: Going On Car Rides

Introduction

In this guide, I’ll dive deep into one of my coping strategies of car rides as a blind person.

First of all, I’ll be going over the mental health benefits and the correct/incorrect ways of inviting me on a car ride.

I’ll go over the consequences of ignoring invitations, and how it’ll impact my mental health, friendships, and even relationships.

I’ll then dive into where if unforeseen circumstances arise on the day of the scheduled car ride.

I’ll also go over the signs of me desperately needing a car ride, with different examples. I’ll then explore the benefits of a car ride on a first date and in a romantic relationship.

I’ll then go over the possibility of needing more than one (1) car ride. And, I’ll tell you my personal experiences asking for car rides at my former church, and go over the positive outcome of the best decision switching to an open-minded church community, welcoming me with open arms.

I’ll dive in to my teenage years where I felt lots of envious emotions when other teens got their licenses, giving them the freedom to drive around their friend(s)/partner(s), but not including me as a passenger. I’ll then fast forward to today as an adult, telling my story of how I still get envious, and how I imagine my future partner driving me around when I’m falling asleep at night, the frequency/duration, my preferred car ride, and realizing at the end for the need for me to advocate/educate others. I’ll mention my preference of riding in the front seat, especially when you invite your friends along for the ride.

I’ll then go over how Olivia Rodrigo’s “Drivers License” song resonates with my desire to go on a meaningful journey

Lastly, I’ll briefly mention an updated how-to guide I wrote on how to interact with blind individuals like me, from a blind person’s perspective. Finally, I’ll close out this long guide with a challenge for all of you.

Why Do I Enjoy Going On Car Rides?

For me, going on car rides with someone helps me cope with stressful situations, such as me needing to get stuff off of my chest, or just to get out of the house for a few hours or more to explore the city/countryside, or just riding around to enjoy the nature.

It also gives me the opportunity for us to get to know each other more if we recently met in person or online.

I understand that some people living with or without disabilities don’t enjoy car rides, meaning that they have their own strategies to cope with situations that make them feel emotionally stressed.

And with that, I invite you to embark on this remarkable journey with me. Together, let’s delve into the world of car rides, exploring the mental health benefits, the correct/incorrect ways of inviting me on a car ride, and the transformative impact that a single car ride can have. Join me as we navigate the challenges, celebrate the triumphs, and uncover the deep longing for connection and freedom that resides within. adventure unlike any other.

Before We Begin

I wrote this guide in hopes of bringing awareness and understanding to anyone who personally knows me or is getting to know me for the first time, and also to tell you my own coping strategies from my perspective.

I’m always happy to answer any questions, whether it is via my email or via a direct message. For those of you who saved my personal cell phone number or use a different messaging platform to communicate with me, I’m only one phone call or text message away. Also, voice messages work as well! We’re all here to learn from each other.

The Mental Health Benefits

Here’s some of the mental health benefits that I gain from going on car rides:

Emotional Restoration/Escapism: On days when I feel overwhelmed by everything that’s going on during the day or out in the world,, a car ride becomes my sanctuary of solace. The mere act of escaping the four walls that confine me can alleviate stress, resurrecting a sense of freedom and liberation. The gentle breeze that brushes against my face and the ever-changing scenery outside the passenger car window serve as a canvas for emotional restoration.
Venting And Release: There are times when my emotions become too overwhelming to bear in the static environment of my home. A moving vehicle creates a refuge where tears can be shed, frustrations can find their voice, and laughter can bubble forth unabashedly. The privacy and intimacy of the car ride allows me to embrace the cathartic release that accompanies such emotional vulnerability.
Mindfulness/Reflections: As the engine hums and the vibrations of the road find their way to my fingertips, I exist in a meditative state. The hypnotic rhythm of the ride breathes life into a mindful mindset, allowing me to explore my thoughts, feelings, and innermost desires. It becomes an opportune moment for self-reflection and a deeper connection with my inner self.

Inviting Me On A Car Ride

If you’d like to extend an invitation for a car ride, it’s important to be mindful of your words and their potential impact on my emotions. Here’s some suggestions on what to say and examples of what not to say when asking me if I’d like to ride around with you:

Appropriate Invitations

Text Message(s):
- “Hey Armando! I’ll be going for a drive later on today. Would you like to ride around and hang out with me for a little bit? You can vent to me about what’s going on or just relax and enjoy the ride.”
- “Hey Armando! I’ll be going on a long drive with no destination in mind … at …. Would you like to ride around with me? I understand that you’ve been busy with work and other stuff, and I’d like to just drive you around and let you vent or just relax. If this isn’t a good time, I’ll be happy to reschedule and we can figure out a new time.”
Phone Or FaceTime Audio Call(s): “Hey Armando! I hope that you are doing well. I’m calling to extend an invitation for a car ride—it can be a therapeutic escape from our daily routines! How about we embark on this adventure together and see where the road takes us? I know that you like to ride around, and yes, I’ll be happy to drive you around as long as I can.”
In-Person (Events, Meetups, And So On): “It’s great running into you! I’ve been craving a spontaneous car ride lately. How about we take this opportunity to create memorable moments and enjoy the journey together? I know that you mentioned that you like to go on car rides. I’d be happy to take you for a ride.”

Inappropriate Comments/Phrases To Avoid

These comments/phrases below are examples to avoid saying, whether via text message(s), phone calls, or via meeting in person:

“I’ll have to see.” This is a vague response that you should avoid saying at all costs.
“I feel sorry that you can’t experience the scenery around you, so let’s go for a drive.” (Avoid statements that emphasize pity or presume my inability to appreciate the environment.)
“You would never understand the joy of driving, but I guess I can take you.” (Avoid underestimating my ability to find joy and connection during a car ride.)
“Let’s go for a drive! But don’t worry, I’ll do all the talking since you can’t see anything anyway.” (Avoid assuming that my blindness impedes my ability to engage in meaningful conversations.)

Note: I’ve experienced people saying “I’ll have to see” the most via text message(s) and in person.

Appropriate Ways To Respond

Here’s some examples on how you should respond correctly:

“Let me see what I can do for …. I’ll get back to you as soon as I can.”
“Let me check my schedule for …. I’ll get back to you as soon as I can.”
“I’ll be happy to drive you around for a while! Let me get back to you regarding …. as soon as I can.”

Replace the … with the day and the estimated time when you might be able to pick me up. Also, be sure to keep your promise to reach out to me on the day of the car ride to keep me updated. That way, I won’t get easily anxious if I don’t hear anything when the time gets closer, especially when I’m at work. See Unforeseen Circumstances for more details.

The Consequences

By disregarding an invitation or failing to honor commitments related to the scheduled car ride, significant consequences can arise, impacting my mental health and our friendship or relationship. Possible negative consequences may include, but not limited to the following:

Trust/Reliability Issues: Promising to pick me up from my house or workplace and not following through erodes trust and leaves me questioning your reliability. Consistency and dependability are vital aspects of fostering a healthy, enduring friendship or romantic relationship.
Emotional/Mental Impacts: Ignoring, providing vague responses like, “I’ll have to see,” or even unexpectedly ghosting me on the day of the car ride without explanation, for example, not texting, calling, or even FaceTiming me can deeply hurt my feelings. It intensifies a sense of dejection and isolation. Be aware of the possible emotional weight that your actions can cause.
Having A Strong Urge To Escape To A Different City To Fulfill The Void: If a car ride doesn’t happen in a certain amount of time when I get overwhelmed and stressed due to different environments/unexpected situations, I’ll start thinking about escaping to a different city to ride their public transportation system around to fulfill the void. I’ll also start watching videos of people riding public transportation, flying on airplanes, and exploring and riding around an airport’s automated train system on YouTube. I might even start thinking about buying a round trip plane ticket just to fly out of one of the airports.

Unforeseen Circumstances

I understand that unforeseen circumstances can sometimes arise, and it’s important that we handle them respectfully and communicate effectively. If something unexpectedly comes up on the day of the scheduled car ride, I suggest engaging in open and honest/prompt communication through texting or calling. This way, we can navigate any changes to our plans in a considerate and respectful manner. Here’s how you can handle such situations:

Communicating Changes And Updates

Text Messages: If you find yourself in a situation where you are unable to proceed with the car ride at the agreed-upon time, sending a text message is an efficient way to inform me. Please make sure to convey the reason for the change and offer an apology for any inconvenience that this may cause. Here are a couple of examples of how you can let me know in an appropriate way:
- “Hey Armando! I’m really sorry, but I’ve unexpectedly been asked to stay late at work today due to …. I won’t be able to pick you up for me to take you for a drive at the scheduled time. I apologize for any inconvenience that this may cause. I promise that I’ll stay in touch with you for the rescheduling of me picking you up for the ride that you’ve requested.”
- “Hey Armando! Unfortunately, I wanted to let you know that a family emergency has come up, and I won’t be able to pick you up for the scheduled car ride today. I apologize for any disappointment or inconvenience that this may cause. I promise that I’ll stay in touch with you to reschedule for me to pickyou up.”
FaceTime/Phone Call: If the situation is urgent or requires more detailed explanation, a phone call would be most appropriate. By calling me, we can have a real-time conversation, ensuring clear communication and understanding. When calling, please offer a sincere explanation for the change in plans and apologize for any inconvenience caused. Examples of respectful phone conversations could be:
- “Hi Armando! I’m calling to let you know that there’s been an unexpected traffic jam on my route, and I won’t be able to make it on time to pick you up for the scheduled car ride. I apologize for any inconvenience that this may cause. I’ll be arriving a little bit late. Or, is there a better time for us to reschedule?”
- “Hey Armando! I wanted to inform you that my car unexpectedly broke down, and I won’t be able to proceed with me picking you up for the scheduled car ride today. I’m really sorry for any inconvenience that this may cause. I understand that you are disappointed right now. I know that you really like going on car rides to clear your mind. Shall we find another suitable time to go for a ride together once my car gets fixed? I’ll let you know as soon as possible once it gets fixed, so we can schedule the next ride, and I’ll drive you around as long as I can.”

Inappropriate Behaviors

It’s crucial to maintain respectful communication and avoid certain behaviors that can cause confusion or discomfort. To ensure our interaction remains positive and considerate, please be mindful of the following inappropriate behaviors to avoid at all costs:

Ghosting (Disappearing): It’s important not to engage in ghosting, which means ignoring messages or calls from me without any explanation or not reaching out to me. Ghosting can lead to misunderstandings and my feelings easily getting hurt. Let’s strive to communicate openly and honestly to each other.
Invalid Excuses: It’s crucial to be truthful and genuine when explaining changes to our plans. Providing invalid excuses can create distrust and jeopardize our understanding. Avoid making up stories or insincere justifications. Honesty is the key to a strong and respectful relationship. Here’s an example:
- Claiming sudden illness but being active on social media platform(s), going out with your friends, and so on.
- Stating a previously made commitment that I didn’t know about or wasn’t communicated to me beforehand.
Apologizing Excessively: While it’s appropriate to apologize for any inconvenience caused, excessive apologies can sometimes be unnecessary and may even create an uncomfortable atmosphere. Express a sincere apology once and focus on finding a suitable alternative. An example might be:
- Apologizing repeatedly even after I’ve assured you that it’s alright.
- Repeatedly saying sorry without providing a clear solution for going forward, such as offering another day or time.

Offering Alternative Day(s), Time(s), Or Location

If the car ride needs to be rescheduled due to unexpected circumstances, I’m more than willing to find an alternative day, time, or location that suits both of us. If we both work in the same city and you finish work around the time of the car ride, it makes sense for you to drive to my workplace to pick me up. In some instances, I can get an Uber or a Lyft to your workplace to meet up, depending on the distance and the price of both services at that time. This way, we can save time and make the most of our shared proximity.

If another day is more convenient for both of us, I’m open to considering various options, such as:

Choosing a specific evening or night that works well for both of us without any conflicts in our schedules
Considering a weekend day, like Saturday or Sunday, ensuring no conflicts with any church activities or any planned events that one of us may have on these days
Exploring a time after an event that we’ll both attend together
Or, identifying a time that suits both of our schedules to ensure a smooth car ride experience.

Please let me know your thoughts or any constraints you may have regarding alternative options, and I’ll be happy to adjust accordingly. Clear and open communication is the key to navigating unexpected situations and finding mutually convenient solutions.

Signs That I Desperately Need A Car Ride

Here are the signs that I desperately need a car ride when I am feeling stressed.

As A Friend

A Bad/Stressful Day At Work

Physical and Mental Strain: I appear physically drained and mentally taxed, displaying signs of weariness and a lack of enthusiasm.
Yearning for Escape: I mention the desire to escape the work-related stress and seek a change of environment, longing for the liberation that a car ride can provide.

Feeling Emotionally Irritated/Overwhelmed

Verbalizing Overwhelm: I express feelings of being overwhelmed with various aspects of life, including personal responsibilities and the complexities of navigating a sighted world.
Visible Signs of Tension: There is a noticeable increase in tension, restlessness, or irritability, indicating the toll that overwhelming stress has taken on me.
Craving a Break from Routine: I voice the need to break away from my usual routine, yearning for the freedom and tranquility that a car ride can offer.

Seeking Solitude And Escapism

Desire for Solitude: I communicate the yearning for some time alone, away from the constant interactions and demands of daily life as a blind person.
Escape from Urban Noise: I mention my longing to escape the noisy urban environment, seeking solace in the peacefulness of a car ride.
Finding Serenity in Motion: I express a desire for the sensation of movement and the ability to explore new surroundings, as it helps me find inner peace.

As A Romantic Partner

Mental Health Struggles

Heightened Emotional Distress: I display signs of anxiety, depression, or a generally heightened emotional state, seeking moments of tranquility and relief.
Introspection and Self-Care: I express the need for self-care and the importance of finding a change in environment to alleviate the burden on my mental health.
Recognizing the Therapeutic Value: I emphasize the soothing and calming effects of a car ride, highlighting its ability to provide a temporary respite from the challenges I face.

Emotional Support

Yearning for Connection: I show a desire for emotional support, longing for quality time and meaningful conversations to deepen our bond.
Creating Safe Spaces: I express the need for a safe and comfortable environment, such as a car ride, where I can freely open up and share my thoughts and feelings.
Feeling Relieved in Your Presence: I express a sense of relief and relaxation when we embark on car rides together, finding solace in your company and feeling emotionally supported.

Escaping From Daily Pressure(s)/Routine(s)

Craving Freedom: I talk about the desire to experience a sense of freedom and independence that comes with a car ride, allowing me to venture beyond my typical boundaries.
Finding Respite in Nature: I express a longing to escape into nature, yearning to hear the sounds of calm surroundings and breathe in the fresh air during a car ride.
Seeking Distraction and Respite: I mention the need for a distraction from the daily pressures and challenges I face, envisioning a car ride as a time to clear my mind and find temporary solace.

In summary, to alleviate stress, there are distinct signs that you, as a friend/partner can look out for. By being attentive to my challenges at work, feelings of overwhelm, mental health struggles, desires for solitude, need for emotional support, and the yearning to escape from daily pressures, you can provide the understanding, companionship, and care necessary for me to find solace and rejuvenation during our shared car rides.

The Benefits of A Car Ride On A first Date

The idea of going on a first date in a car may seem unconventional to some people. However, this unique experience offers a multitude of benefits that can enhance the connection and create lasting memories for both of us. Below, I’ll share the advantages of a car ride on a first date.

Trust And Support When Navigating

Being in a car with my date allows me to rely on her navigational skills and trust in her ability to guide us safely. It creates an opportunity to build a strong foundation of trust and support, as we work together to reach our destination. This shared experience fosters a sense of teamwork, where my date becomes not just a romantic interest but also a reliable ally.

Engaging In Deep Conversations

The intimate environment of a car provides a conducive space for focused conversations. With fewer distractions, I can engage in deep and meaningful discussions with my date. From sharing personal stories to discussing our passions and interests, the car ride allows for an uninterrupted flow of conversation, promoting a deeper understanding of each other.

Improving Communication And Listening Skills

In a car, effective communication becomes paramount. I rely heavily on verbal cues and clear directions to navigate the world around me. The car ride provides an opportunity for my date to practice clear and precise communication, enhancing her ability to describe surroundings and actively engage in descriptive conversations. Likewise, it allows me to hone my listening skills and actively participate in the dialogue, creating a stronger connection and fostering effective communication patterns.

Exploring New Places

With a car, we have the freedom to explore new places and embark on exciting adventures. From scenic drives through nature to discovering vibrant cityscapes, the car ride becomes a gateway to new experiences. These explorations take on a different dimension, relying on my other senses to fully immerse myself in the surroundings. Together, we can create cherished memories of discovering unfamiliar territories, broadening our horizons as a potential romantic couple.

Enjoying The sensory Journey

A car ride provides a sensory experience that can be heightened for a blind person. The sounds of the engine, the feel of the vibrations, and the unique scents of different environments all contribute to a multi-dimensional experience. This sensory journey can be rich and captivating, further deepening the connection between my date and me as we share these sensory experiences together.

Building Emotional Intimacy

The privacy and closeness of a car ride creates an ideal setting for building emotional intimacy. It allows for shared vulnerability, as we have conversations that may be more challenging to have in public settings. The intimate space of the car fosters a deep emotional connection, enabling us to open up to each other, share our fears and aspirations, and truly bond on a profound level.

Building Independence And Strengthening Trust

By relying on my date for transportation, I am able to build trust in her ability to navigate and ensure our safety. Simultaneously, the car ride offers an opportunity for me to grow in independence by challenging myself to explore new places and overcome obstacles with her support. It becomes a journey of mutual dependence and empowerment, strengthening our bond as we navigate the world together.

The Benefits of A Car Ride In A Romantic Relationship

Let me be honest with you. As I’ve never been in a relationship with someone who drives yet, the prospect of a romantic car ride holds a world of exciting possibilities and presents unique advantages, distinct from my previous experiences.

I’d like to share my hopes and expectations for the future benefits that a romantic car ride can bring to me when I’m in a relationship with someone who drives.

Going On New Adventures Together

One of the most promising benefits of a romantic car ride in my future relationship lies in the opportunity to embark on exciting adventures with my future girlfriend. As I imagine the freedom of having a girlfriend who can drive, the world suddenly opens up to endless possibilities. We can explore new places, go on spontaneous road trips, or simply take scenic drives to reconnect with nature’s beauty. These shared experiences will allow us to create cherished memories, deepen our bond, and ignite a sense of exploration that may have been limited in the past.

Experiencing The World

Being in a relationship with someone who drives allows me to experience the world, providing me with a unique perspective and enriching my understanding of the surroundings. Her descriptions of the scenery, landmarks, and changing landscapes will paint vivid pictures in my mind. Through her observations, I can immerse myself in the journey, visually perceiving the world alongside her, albeit in a different way. This shared experience deepens our connection and strengthens our ability to share and understand each other’s perceptions of the world.

Improving Communication And Trust

In a future relationship with someone who drives, communication takes on a new dimension as we navigate together on our romantic car rides. Clear and precise communication becomes vital for a safe and enjoyable journey. I’ll rely on her guidance and descriptions of the road, traffic conditions, and any obstacles or landmarks that we encounter along the way. In turn, my active engagement in the dialogue and effective communication with her will strengthen our bond, build trust, and foster a sense of teamwork. We’ll master the art of clear and concise communication, allowing us to navigate not only the physical roads but also the intricate pathways of our emotions and desires.

Deepening Emotional And Physical Intimacy

The intimate setting of a romantic car ride offers unparalleled opportunities for deepening emotional and physical intimacy with my future girlfriend. The private and cozy space of the car allows us to engage in intimate conversations, share our dreams, and express our deepest desires. The tranquil environment devoid of external distractions creates a serene ambiance for connecting on a profound level, building emotional intimacy, and strengthening our bond. Additionally, the physical proximity in the confined space of the car may lead to gentle touches and/or tender moments that further deepen our connection, passion, and affection for each other.

Fostering Independence And Empowerment

For me, having a future girlfriend who drives fosters a sense of independence and empowerment. While I’ll rely on my future girlfriend’s driving skills, it also presents an opportunity for personal growth and self-assurance. Her support will enable me to expand my horizons, venture into new places, and navigate the world confidently alongside her. The freedom and confidence gained from these experiences will permeate other aspects of my life, allowing me to overcome barriers and embrace a broader sense of independence.

Discovering New Music And Tastes

The soundtrack of a romantic car ride becomes an essential part of the journey. With my future girlfriend behind the wheel, I eagerly look forward to discovering new music and sharing our favorite tunes. We can explore different genres, exchange playlists, and enjoy the melodies that add a new dimension to our romantic car rides. These shared musical experiences create lasting memories and further strengthen our connection as we harmoniously travel down the road together.

In summary, the future benefits of a romantic car ride when I am in a relationship with someone who drives are both thrilling and promising. From embarking on new adventures and experiencing the world through her eyes, to enhancing communication, deepening intimacy, fostering independence, and sharing the joy of music, each car ride will become a cherished experience. With every journey, we will grow closer, build a stronger bond, and truly embrace the magic that lies in the shared exploration of life’s roads together.

Needing More Than One (1) Car Ride Per Week

In some instances, a single car ride may not suffice to meet my needs, and the desire for more than one ride arises. The reasons for seeking multiple car rides extend beyond mere transportation. The prospect of additional trips offers me a valuable opportunity for exploration, relaxation, and personal fulfillment.

Exploration and Adventure: Embracing a series of car rides allows me to explore various destinations, unveiling new areas and embracing the thrill of the unknown. Each journey carries the potential for unique discoveries, introducing me to different sceneries, cultures, and experiences that would be difficult to encounter solely within the confines of a single ride.
A Sense of Freedom: Multiple car rides can provide a profound sense of liberation and independence. As a blind person, venturing beyond my immediate environment through various car journeys enables me to break free from limitations and expand my horizons. With each ride, I can embrace the exhilarating feeling of mobility and the ability to traverse distances.
Self-Reflection and Peace: Car rides offer a serene backdrop for introspection and personal reflection. Engaging in a series of journeys allows me to dedicate time to my own thoughts, detach from the demands of daily life, and find solace in the peacefulness found on the open road. Repeating this experience allows for a deepened sense of tranquility and self-discovery.

My Experiences With Car Rides At My Old (Former) Church (2021)

Allow me to share with you my experiences of asking for car rides at my former church. It was a time when I expected the kindness of my fellow former church members, hoping to save money on services like Uber or Lyft after regular church gatherings. However, what I encountered was a prevailing belief within the church community that I should provide my own transportation.

My Rejection Experiences

Several rejections stand out in my memory, leaving me feeling deeply upset.

One instance involved reaching out to someone from the student ministry on Instagram, seeking a ride where she can drive me around. Unfortunately, she insisted on having her boyfriend accompany us in the car. While I didn’t know her that well at that time, I was unable to determine whether this was a particular Christian Denomination practice or another factor. However, the rejection deeply hurt me emotionally. I longed for the spirit of compassion and neighborliness that I expected within the church community.

On another occasion, after a church event, I asked someone to take me to Buffalo Wild Wings. Their response of “I’ll have to see” indicated they were considering taking others to the restaurant as well. While I understand that there may not be room in the car for me, the lack of a straightforward answer left me feeling overlooked and unimportant. It was a rejection that compounded my sadness and frustration.

Fast forward to the day after I attended Celebrate Recovery for the first time, thanks to someone who invited me. After a Student Ministry Service, I was fortunate to have someone drive me to Buffalo Wild Wings, with her friend of course. However, during the car ride, I felt isolated from their conversations between each other, who occupied the front seat, when I’m the one that is stuck in the back seat. To cope with my feelings of exclusion, I resorted to listening to music with my headphones, creating a barrier between us.

Looking back, I could’ve advocated for me to ride in the front seat. However, I was afraid of being rejected by the driver or her friend.

Once we arrived at Buffalo Wild Wings, the friend of the driver asked me for my address to determine my drop-off location, an action that made me upset. In my opinion, it should have been the driver who took the initiative to inquire about my address since she was the one responsible for driving us.

To make matters worse, I continued to feel excluded from their conversation, along with other people at the table. I shouldn’t have to speak up every time if I’d like to start a conversation or get into one.

As we reached my final destination after leaving the restaurant, I cannot recall the specific question the driver or her friend asked me. Despite this, I thanked the driver later via text message for providing the ride.

In subsequent conversations with the driver via test messages, we discussed her affinity for driving around for fun and looking at the stars. I took the opportunity to suggest going for a drive together, but her response of “I’ll have to see” left me uncertain and disappointed inside.

The final rejection came when I reached out to someone from the Student Ministry on New Year’s Eve of 2021 out of boredom, seeking a drive. Once again, they insisted on having their boyfriend accompany them, silently adding to my frustration.

A New And Positive Beginning

In the beginning of 2022, I made the best decision to leave my old church behind and began searching for a new and inclusive/open-minded church community. The rejections that I faced and other reasons prompted my departure. The final straw was when I contracted the Coronavirus (COVID-19) and realized that the support I anticipated during this challenging time was lacking. It also contributed to my final decision to seek a fresh start elsewhere.

At All Saints Episcopal Church – Warner Robins, I’ve found a community that includes me in various activities, such as providing car rides to and from church events. Even when they have their spouses, partners, or other passengers in the car, they make a concerted effort to ensure that I’m not excluded. It’s a testament to their commitment to welcoming me with open arms and the genuine care they extend to all church members.

Additionally, if my memory serves me correctly, I’m immensely grateful for a wonderful couple who unexpectedly visited the church office. We’re still friends to this day. I recall my Pastor reaching out to me via email, offering the couple as a means of transportation to and from church events. Their thoughtfulness and kindness left a lasting impression, solidifying my belief that I’ve found a community where I am valued and supported.

For those who still attend my former church, I encourage you to follow this advice:

Recognize the importance of being good neighbors, extending help and support to others.
Embrace the spirit of inclusivity and compassion within the church community.
Reach out to me at any time. I am open to sitting down and sharing my experiences to foster understanding and growth.
Cultivate an environment where everyone feels seen, heard, and valued.
Prioritize empathy and strive to ensure that no one feels excluded or overlooked.
Be proactive in extending a helping hand and being a good neighbor.

Remember, the church should be a place of compassion, love, fellowship, understanding, and community building. By embodying these principles and practicing inclusivity, we can create a welcoming environment for all.

Please feel free to reach out to me at any time. I am here to lend an ear and share my experiences with you. Let’s come together as good neighbors, supporting and uplifting one another, no matter where we are on our journey in faith.

My Experience During My Teen Years

During my high school days at a school for the blind, I experienced moments of deep envy when I saw others bragging about getting their driver’s license on social media.

As I scrolled through posts where people around my age at the time excitedly shared their newfound freedom of being able to drive, I couldn’t help but feel a pang of envy. I longed to be “normal” and fit in with the teenagers who enjoyed going out, riding around, and engaging in lighthearted conversations. It was especially tough because, deep down, I always yearned to be picked up and driven around like everyone else, enjoying the shared experiences and spontaneity that comes with a car ride.

In my mind, I imagined friends (also partners, especially the girlfriends) picking her friend(s) up, laughing, and having meaningful conversations while she skillfully navigated the roads. These moments of camaraderie and connection seemed just out of reach for me, simply because I was blind and at a different school.

Even when I met new people online during those days, I always found a way to bring up the topic of driving. In conversations, I would often ask if they’d be willing to drive me around if we were to meet in person. The desire for the experience of riding around with someone, engaging in conversations that flowed effortlessly, became a recurring theme in my interactions.

My Experience As An Adult

As an adult now, I still find myself mentioning car rides almost every time, asking if they like to drive around for fun. This is especially when I meet someone, whether it’s online or other social settings such as public gatherings. I’ve now realized that my fixation on this topic stems from a deep longing for the sense of freedom and connection that comes from sharing a car ride with someone that I wasn’t able to experience in my younger years.

I still find myself getting envious when I don’t get invited out, particularly when groups of people go to a place that I’d enjoy in the community. This is especially on Friday/Saturday nights, where they go out to bars or any other event(s), but not ask me if I wanted to come. It can be challenging to deal with this feeling, especially when I have to always rely on Uber or Lyft due to the lack of reliable public transportation to transport me there, or when I have to arrange for someone to pick me up in advance, rather than having someone from the same group accompany me. Being excluded in this way can leave me longing for the spontaneity and camaraderie of being included in the same plans as others.

I even get envious when I hear live streams and/or videos on social media of people in a car with someone, especially if they’re with a romantic partner or just driving around alone having fun. Also, posts mentioning driving and being in the car jamming out to music makes me feel left out. While I’m not the type to jam out to very loud music, I’d rather be in the car riding around and exploring new places and just to vent about what’s currently on my mind.

I’d like to remind you that if you’re planning to just drive around in the future to no destination in mind (preferably) or just to get out of the house, please don’t hesitate to reach out to me by calling or texting me. If I’m not busy and bored with nothing to do, especially after work or in the evening or late at night on a particular day, I’d like to just join and ride around with you to hang out like everyone else. Refer to Inviting Me On A Car Ride for more details.

Imagining A Car Ride With A Romantic Partner When I’m Falling Asleep At Night

When I surrender to the embrace of sleep each night, my mind weaves a tapestry of enchanting visions that transport me to a world of boundless possibilities.

In the realm of my dreams, I imagine my romantic partner taking the wheel and driving us through the intricate labyrinth of highways and interstates. As we traverse the open roads, her voice, like sweet honey, fills the air, serenading us with its soothing melody.

In this nocturnal reverie, her car becomes a vessel of freedom and connection. Sometimes, our conversations flow effortlessly, punctuating the peaceful hum of the engine. We discuss our hopes, dreams, and fears, sharing the deepest corners of our souls. I also vent about what’s on my mind, and she takes the time to listen and supports me and to be there for me. Her voice resonates in my ears, a symphony of tenderness and understanding, as we navigate through the vibrant tapestry of life together.

At other times, we relish in the tranquil silence that envelops us. The rumble of the tires against the asphalt on the highways or on the streets serves as our chorus, harmonizing with the rhythmic beating of our hearts. In these cherished moments, she reaches out, her right hand gently caressing my shoulder, a tender gesture that ignites a warm spark of connection. I can feel her touch, soft and reassuring, as if affirming our unity in the midst of this shared journey.

As we embrace the open road, I’m acutely aware of the world around us. The thrill of the wind rustling through her car windows, the changing landscapes that unfold, and the ever-present pulse of life beneath the tires. Together, we immerse ourselves in the ebb and flow of the road, finding solace in the simple act of moving forward.

So, as I surrender to the depths of slumber, I let these fantasies of a romantic partner driving me around envelop me in a warm embrace. Together, we navigate the highways and streets of my imagination, her sweet voice guiding us, her touch affirming our bond. I carry this dream within me, knowing that one day it may transform into a tangible reality where our souls can dance to the rhythm of the open road.

Feeling Envious When Other People Get To Drive With Their Windows Down

When people get to drive with the windows down, , my envy takes hold of me. The sense of freedom they exude is something I yearn for. Although I’ve only experienced it a few times when riding around, I crave more opportunities to let my feelings out and vent to someone who can keep our conversations confidential. Whether it’s a close friend or a romantic partner who truly understands, I envision going on car rides every one or two weeks, adjusting the frequency based on my stress levels and the overwhelm I am facing, particularly at work or during challenging situations.

Having a trusted confidant who assures me of their discretion when it comes to sharing our discussions is of utmost importance. Knowing that I can openly express my thoughts and emotions without worrying about others finding out provides a deep sense of comfort. During these car rides, I would share my innermost thoughts, unburdening myself and finding solace in the empathetic presence of a friend or a romantic partner.

The Frequency And The Duration Of Car Rides

The frequency of these car rides will be flexible, adapting to my fluctuating emotional state. If stress and being overwhelmed with different situations becomes very high, I might increase the frequency to twice a week, enabling me to vent and find emotional release more frequently. Conversely, during calmer periods, one car ride per week might be enough.

It’s crucial for me to tune into my own needs and ensure that I have a consistent outlet for self-expression, accompanied by a confidant who respects my boundaries and supports me unconditionally.

The Duration

Regardless of whether the windows are up or down, a long car ride typically brings me immense happiness. The act of riding around with someone itself, combined with the opportunity to release my emotions, brings a profound sense of contentment.

I find that longer drives that last more than an hour and a half, two, or even three hours have an even greater impact, offering ample time for introspection and rejuvenation. If it’s less than an hour and a half due to something that’s scheduled, that’d be okay as well. As long as we’re driving around and I’m able to vent about what’s on my mind.

Additionally, the idea of embarking on a small road trip to another city and exploring back roads along the way fuels my excitement for fun-filled adventures and the opportunity to satisfy my curiosity.

In addition to finding emotional release, these car rides will give me the opportunity to ask countless questions. The open road and the comfort of the car create the perfect environment for my curiosity to thrive. I’ll joyfully take advantage of this opportunity, asking inquiries ranging from lighthearted topics to deep and philosophical discussions. These car rides will become vibrant exchanges of ideas and knowledge, further deepening the connection between us.

My desire for the freedom of me riding with someone with the windows down or up, the need for a trustworthy confidant, and the excitement of exploratory road trips or back road adventures remain strong. These experiences would not only help me find emotional release and satisfaction but also engage my curiosity and thirst for knowledge. Together, we’ll be able to journey through the open road, exploring new cities and back roads, creating cherished memories, and strengthening our bond along the way.

My Preferred Car Ride

While I enjoy attending different community/social events, different meetings and exploring new places, I prefer car rides where there’s no destination in mind. For me, it means that I enjoy riding around to see where the road takes us and just to talk about what’s on our minds. For example, I’d prefer to ride around a city or explore different roads in a town or out in the country.

As for the routes, I prefer to ride around on scenic routes, meaning that I enjoy just riding on highways/roads, especially on long car rides with no destination in mind.

Also, depending on the mood that I’m in during a car ride, I’d usually prefer to talk about what’s on my mind and also try to keep the conversation going. Sometimes, I’d like to just ride around in silence, especially after I vent a lot or just to ride around.

Offering To Pay You for Car Rides

I understand that car rides can use a lot of gas. With the cost of gas more expensive due to inflation, I’d be happy to pay you to drive me around.

I’d also be happy to negotiate a price that’s comfortable for both of us, depending on how much gas that was used before or after the ride.

Educating And Spreading Awareness To Others

It’s important to note that as I’ve grown older and gained more understanding and awareness, I’ve come to appreciate and embrace my identity as a blind person and an advocate in the community.

I’m proud of who I am and the unique perspective that I bring to the world. I’ve realized that education and open communication are key in helping others understand my needs and desires, such as the importance of car rides when it comes to fostering friendships or building a romantic relationship.

By sharing my experiences and raising awareness, I hope to create a more empathetic and inclusive society. It’s through these efforts that we can foster understanding, bridge the gap between our counterparts, and build connections that transcend physical limitations.

Why I Prefer To Ride In The Front Seat

Just like anyone else, I have my preferences, especially when it comes to seating arrangements in the car. When we hit the road, my favorite spot is the front seat, right beside you. Here’s why I prefer to ride in the front seat:

The Soundscape: Sitting in front allows me to immerse myself in the rich tapestry of sound. The hum of the engine, the murmur of your voice, the wind rustling outside – these paint a vivid picture of the world around us, filling the void left by sight.
The Sense of Direction: Being in the front helps me piece together the journey. I can feel the turns you make, the changes in acceleration, and the different textures of the road beneath the tires. This information allows me to form a mental map of our route, fostering a sense of spatial awareness.
The Shared Experience: The front seat positions me as your co-pilot, a partner in navigating the landscape. I can offer my input, ask questions, and share my observations, making the journey a collaborative adventure.
The Feeling of Connection: Sharing the front seat creates an intimate space where I can feel your presence. The warmth of your body, the scent of your perfume/cologne, and the sound of your breathing all contribute to a deep sense of connection that transcends the limitations of sight.
The Openness to the World: The front seat offers an unobstructed view of the open road ahead. While I may not see the scenery unfolding before us, I can feel the anticipation and excitement build as we approach a new destination.
The Conversation Flow: Sitting next to you allows for a free and flowing conversation. No need to shout or turn my head; I can easily participate in the conversation, sharing my thoughts and listening to yours without any barriers.
The Feeling of Trust: Your willingness to share the front seat with me speaks volumes about our friendship/relationship. It shows trust, respect, and a desire to include me fully in the experience.
The Shared Laughter: The front seat becomes a space for shared laughter and joy. We can talk about what’s on our minds, rant about anything, and simply enjoy each other’s company, creating lasting memories together.
The Sense of Security: Sitting next to you fills me with a sense of security and comfort. Knowing you are at the wheel and I’m right beside you allows me to relax and fully appreciate the journey.
The Unique Perspective: Riding shotgun offers a perspective that differs from the backseat experience. It allows me to feel more connected to the road and more involved in the act of driving, making the journey even more meaningful.

Of course, your friends are always welcome to join our adventures. Just a heads-up beforehand would be appreciated so I can adjust my expectations for the conversation and dynamics within the car.

Ultimately, riding in the front seat with you is more than just a seat. It’s a way to connect with you, share the joys of exploration, and create lasting memories together. So, next time you are thinking about taking me for a drive, or we schedule a future car ride where you pick me up, remember, the front seat awaits a co-pilot ready to experience the world with you, one sound, one turn, and one shared laugh at a time.

Olivia Rodrigo’s “Drivers License” Song

Whenever I hear Olivia Rodrigo’s “Drivers License,” it strikes a deep chord within me who yearns for the experience of a car ride. This song not only touches my heart, but it also resonates with my desire to go on a meaningful journey, where the destination doesn’t matter as much as the companionship and connection.

Explicit Content Warning

The music video for “Drivers License” contains explicit language. Viewer discretion is advised.

If you enjoy the song and prefer the clean/radio edited version, you’ll find it for purchase on iTunes or Google Play, depending on your phone’s software.

Interacting With Me

For a comprehensive understanding of how to interact with blind people in various social situations, such as during car rides, I encourage you to read the following article:

Read: A Guide On Interacting With Me

This guide encompasses valuable insights that’ll facilitate respectful and inclusive interactions, ultimately fortifying our connection.

Final Thoughts

As I bring this long guide to an end, I extend to you a personal challenge. Let’s conclude with an ordered list of actionable steps, culminating in an empowering invitation—reach out to someone who cannot drive due to a disability or not having a driver’s license and offer them a car ride. By doing so, you have the opportunity to bring joy and liberation to someone who has been confined to their house for a prolonged period. Additionally, consider offering them transportation to and from the same event or location to save them money on ride-sharing services like Uber or Lyft. Together, let’s make a difference:

Cultivate empathy and awareness: Start by immersing yourself in the experiences of individuals with disabilities who are unable to drive. Deepen your appreciation for the challenges they face, their yearning for independence, and the financial impact of relying on transportation services.
Identify someone in need: Look within your social circle or larger community for individuals who have expressed a desire to venture out but have been limited by their disability. Reach out to them, expressing your genuine intention to provide transportation and decrease their reliance on expensive ride-sharing services.
Extend a heartfelt offer: Approach the conversation with sincerity and empathy. Let them know that you are there for them and ready to give them a lift whenever they need it. Reassure them that this offer is not just about saving money but also about fostering connections and enhancing their quality of life.
Plan for a stress-free outing: Prioritize the comfort and accessibility of the car ride. Discuss their exact needs and accommodate them accordingly. If you both are attending the same event, propose picking them up and offering a ride back home, highlighting the cost-saving benefits and the added convenience of a familiar and friendly face.
Make it memorable and enjoyable: Collaborate with the individual to plan an outing that aligns with their interests and preferences. Whether it’s attending a social gathering, a cultural event, or a recreational activity, ensure that the experience is both enjoyable and inclusive.
Foster a warm and supportive atmosphere: During the car ride, create an atmosphere of camaraderie, conversation, and laughter. Show genuine interest in their thoughts, feelings, and experiences. Provide them a sense of belonging and make them feel valued throughout the journey.
Inspire others to join the cause: Share your experience and the positive impact it has had on both you and the person you have supported. Encourage others in your community to take up this challenge and extend their hand in offering car rides. This is where you can share this article with them, so they can be educated as well! Share the link to this page via email, text message, via social media, or just show this article to someone from your phone or other device that you are reading this article on! Together, we can create a compassionate and inclusive network of support.

Remember, by accepting this challenge, you have the power to make a significant difference in someone’s life. Offering a car ride not only provides practical transportation but also symbolizes the care, understanding, and bond that can be forged between individuals. Let’s break down barriers and empower one another to thrive. Take the wheel of compassion and embark on this remarkable journey of connection and kindness!