My Coping Strategies: Going on Car Rides

Introduction

In this guide, I’m going to dive deep into one of my primary coping strategies as a blind person: going on car rides. First, I’ll discuss the mental health benefits of these rides and outline both the right and wrong ways to invite me. I’ll also address the consequences of ignoring invitations and how doing that impacts my mental health, friendships, and romantic relationships.

Next, I’ll explore what happens when unforeseen circumstances come up on the day of a scheduled ride, followed by the behavioral signs that show I’m desperately in need of one. I’ll then examine the unique benefits of a car ride on a first date and within a romantic relationship, as well as the possibility of needing more than one ride a week.

Additionally, I’ll share my personal experiences seeking car rides at my former church, contrasted with how great it was when I decided to switch to an open-minded church community that welcomed me with open arms. I’ll reflect on my teenage years, when I felt intense envy watching sighted peers get their driver’s licenses—giving them the freedom to drive their friends and partners around while leaving me behind.

Fast-forwarding to my life as an adult today, I’ll share how I still deal with that envy, how I cope by imagining my future partner driving me around as I fall asleep at night, my specific preferences for the duration and style of a ride, and my realization that I’ve got to actively advocate for and educate others. I’ll also explain my strong preference for riding in the front seat, even when you invite your other friends along, and share how Olivia Rodrigo’s song “Drivers License” resonates deeply with my desire for a meaningful journey.

Finally, I’ll briefly mention an evolving how-to guide I wrote about interacting with me as a blind person before closing this guide with a personal challenge for all of you.

Why Do I Enjoy Going on Car Rides?

For me, going on car rides with someone is an essential way to cope with stressful situations. It provides an outlet when I need to get things off my chest, an opportunity to leave the house for a few hours to explore the city or countryside, or simply a chance to ride around and enjoy nature. It also offers a dedicated, uninterrupted opportunity to get to know each other better, whether we recently met in person or online.

I understand that some people, whether living with or without disabilities, don’t enjoy car rides and rely on their own unique strategies to cope with emotional stress. With that in mind, I invite you to embark on this remarkable journey with me. Together, let’s delve into the world of car rides, exploring their mental health benefits, the right ways to extend an invitation, and the transformative impact a single drive can have. Join me as we navigate these challenges, celebrate triumphs, and uncover a deep longing for connection and freedom.

Before We Begin

I wrote this guide in hopes of bringing awareness and understanding to anyone who knows me personally or is getting to know me for the first time. I’m always happy to answer any questions, whether via a direct message or email. For those of you who have my personal cell phone number or communicate with me on other messaging platforms, I’m only a phone call, text, or voice message away! We’re all here to learn from one another.

The Mental Health Benefits

Here are the core mental health benefits I gain from going on car rides:

Emotional Restoration and Escapism: On days when I feel completely overwhelmed by daily life or world events, a car ride becomes my sanctuary. The simple act of escaping the four walls that confine me alleviates stress, restoring a sense of freedom and liberation. The gentle breeze brushing against my face and the shifting sensory landscape outside the passenger window serve as a powerful canvas for emotional restoration.
Venting and Release: There are times when my emotions become too heavy to bear in the static environment of my home. A moving vehicle creates a private refuge where tears can be shed, frustrations can find their voice, and laughter can bubble forth unabashedly. The privacy and intimacy of a car ride allow me to fully embrace the cathartic release that accompanies emotional vulnerability.
Mindfulness and Reflection: As the engine hums and the vibrations of the road travel through my fingertips, I enter a deeply meditative state. The hypnotic rhythm of the ride fosters a calm state of mind, giving me the space to explore my thoughts, feelings, and innermost desires. It becomes an ideal moment for self-reflection and a deeper connection with my inner self.

Inviting Me on a Car Ride

If you would like to extend an invitation for a car ride, please be mindful of your words and their potential impact on my emotions. Here are some suggestions on what to say, along with examples of phrasing to avoid:

Appropriate Invitations

📱 Text Message(s)

“Hey Armando! I’ll be going for a drive later today. Would you like to ride around and hang out with me for a bit? You can vent to me about what’s going on, or just relax and enjoy the ride.”
“Hey Armando! I’m going on a long drive later today with no specific destination in mind. Would you like to come along? I know you’ve been busy with work and other things, and I’d love to drive you around so you can vent or just relax. If today isn’t a good time, I’d be happy to reschedule for whenever works best for you.”

📞 Phone or FaceTime Audio Call

“Hey Armando! I hope you’re doing well. I’m calling to invite you out for a car ride—it can be a great therapeutic escape from our daily routines! How about we embark on this adventure together and see where the road takes us? I know how much you love to ride around, and I’d be happy to drive you for as long as I can.”

🤝 In-Person (Events, Meetups, etc.)

“It’s great running into you! I’ve been craving a spontaneous car ride lately. How about we take this opportunity to enjoy the journey together and catch up? I know you mentioned before that you like going on drives, and I’d be truly happy to take you out for one.”

Inappropriate Comments and Phrases to Avoid

Please avoid using these comments and phrases, whether via text, over the phone, or in person:

“I’ll have to see.”: This is a vague, non-committal response that should be avoided at all costs. I have experienced people saying this to me frequently via text and in person, and it leaves me deeply anxious, stranded, and uncertain.
- “That’s a maybe.”: Just like “I’ll have to see,” this is a vague, non-committal response that leaves me uncertain and doesn’t give me a clear answer.
“I feel sorry that you can’t experience the scenery around you, so let’s go for a drive.”: Avoid statements rooted in pity or those that presume I’m unable to appreciate the environment in my own unique way.
“You would never understand the joy of driving, but I guess I can take you.”: Avoid minimizing my experiences or underestimating my ability to find profound joy, freedom, and connection during a ride.
“Let’s go for a drive! But don’t worry, I’ll do all the talking since you can’t see anything anyway.”: Never assume that my blindness impedes my ability to hold and engage in deeply meaningful, reciprocal conversations.

Appropriate Ways to Respond

If I ask you for a ride and you need to check your availability, replace the brackets with the specific day or estimated time and use these reliable templates instead:

“Let me see what I can do for [day/time]. I’ll get back to you as soon as I can.”
“Let me check my schedule for [day/time]. I’ll get back to you as soon as possible.”
“I’d be happy to drive you around for a while! Let me check my availability for [day/time] and get right back to you.”

Crucial Note: Please make sure to follow through on your promise to reach out and update me on the day of the ride. This keeps me from becoming anxious as the scheduled time approaches.

The Consequences

By disregarding an invitation or failing to honor commitments related to a scheduled car ride, significant consequences can arise, impacting my mental health and the stability of our relationship. These negative outcomes include, but aren’t limited to, the following:

1. Trust and Reliability Issues

Promising to pick me up from my house or workplace and failing to follow through erodes trust and leaves me questioning your reliability in the long run. Consistency and dependability are vital aspects of fostering a healthy, enduring connection.

Furthermore, I’m tired of dealing with “so-called friends” who treat these commitments lightly. I shouldn’t have to waste my energy explaining the importance of these rides to fake friends who aren’t genuinely invested in my well-being. While this doesn’t apply to all of my friends, these situations make it entirely clear who is truly reliable and who isn’t.

2. Emotional and Mental Health Impacts

Ignoring my text messages or calls, especially in a crisis, providing vague responses like “I’ll have to see,” or unexpectedly ghosting me on the day of the ride without an explanation—such as failing to text, call, or FaceTime me—deeply hurts my feelings. It intensifies a painful sense of dejection and isolation. Please be aware of the heavy emotional weight that these careless actions carry.

3. Compulsion to Escape to Fulfill the Void

When I experience rejection, or when a promised car ride falls through and I become overwhelmed by stress, anger, or unpredictable environments, I experience a powerful urge to escape. To cope, I begin constantly watching YouTube videos of people riding public transit, flying on airplanes, or exploring automated airport and metro train systems. Crucially, this coping mechanism heavily involves rewatching my own captured transit and travel media. For instance, I’ll repeatedly watch high-quality videos I’ve recorded myself, such as footage of myself at an airport with all of the airport noise, taking off on a flight, or riding on automated airport and metro train systems. Immersing myself in these familiar, personal videos acts as a sensory anchor to help regulate my stress.

When environmental stress escalates to the point where I feel like I’m about to explode, this coping mechanism escalates into planning drastic, unnecessary travel:

The Financial Toll of Escalation

I begin having intense thoughts of buying a round-trip plane ticket just to fly out of an airport, or traveling to an entirely different city just to ride their public transit system. In fact, just recently on Thursday, July 16, 2026, when I was attending a summit, I took a Lyft at 5:03 AM—a quick 2-minute ride—and was dropped off at the nearby Metro station at 5:06 AM expecting service to begin. Instead, I spent nearly 50 minutes sitting on platform benches listening to testing trains come and go. The first actual in-service train didn’t arrive until after 5:52 AM, when I was finally able to board. Because line construction prevented southbound travel at that time, I had to board four separate trains back and forth in quick succession just to find relief, remaining on the system until a Lyft picked me up at 6:43 AM.

Back in July 2025, I spent over $200 traveling to another city—booking a hotel stay near an airport, covering meals, and paying for travel expenses—just to achieve that same sensory relief. I shouldn’t have to risk my financial security, accumulate credit card debt, rely on Buy Now, Pay Later services, or pay out-of-pocket for trips—especially when no events like conferences or conventions are happening—just to find the comfort of “riding around.” A simple, local car ride right here could prevent this entire downward spiral, protect my finances, and keep me out of debt.

The Flawed “Wait Until Later” Solution

Furthermore, while I’m entirely capable of waiting until a big break between sessions or the conclusion of the day to seek relief, expecting me to constantly wait for days or entirely restructure my trip is a flawed solution. Some conventions, conferences, trainings, and other events give long, extended breaks, but I certainly shouldn’t have to use that personal time or stay an extra day in a city after an event has already concluded just to ride their public transit system.

Learning Vs. Filling the Void

To be clear, when I travel to another city for trainings, conventions, conferences, or other events, I go there for the event itself—to learn, grow, network, and participate. But when there’s a severe lack of local car rides in my area, the stress builds up to the point where I feel I have no choice but to use those out-of-town trips to ride public transit just to fill the void.

Beyond just sensory relief, riding public transit in larger cities gives me a profound feeling of genuine freedom. Because my local area lacks robust, accessible public transit infrastructure, being in a city with a fully developed transit system allows me to experience the independent mobility I’m deprived of at home. However, I shouldn’t be forced to leave my community or spend hundreds of dollars just to feel mobile and free. I should be able to rely on relaxing and fun car rides right here at home instead of being pushed to these extremes.

Unforeseen Circumstances

I understand that unexpected situations happen, and it’s important that we handle them respectfully through open, honest, and prompt communication. If something comes up on the day of our scheduled car ride, please send a text or call immediately so we can navigate the changes considerately.

Communicating Changes and Updates

📱 Via Text Message

“Hey Armando! I’m really sorry, but I’ve unexpectedly been asked to stay late at work today due to [reason]. I won’t be able to pick you up for our drive at our scheduled time, and I apologize for the inconvenience. I promise I’ll stay in touch so we can reschedule the ride you requested.”
“Hey Armando! Unfortunately, a family emergency has just come up, and I won’t be able to pick you up for our scheduled car ride today. I’m so sorry for the disappointment and inconvenience. I promise I’ll follow up with you soon to reschedule.”

📞 Via a FaceTime or Phone Call (For urgent updates)

“Hi Armando! I’m calling to let you know that I’m caught in an unexpected traffic jam and won’t be able to pick you up on time. I’m really sorry for the delay. I’ll be arriving a little late, but if that doesn’t work, would you prefer to reschedule?”
“Hey Armando! I wanted to let you know that my car unexpectedly broke down, so I won’t be able to pick you up today. I’m incredibly sorry. I know how much you were looking forward to this ride to clear your mind and how disappointing this is. Once my car is fixed, let’s find a time to make it up to you. I’ll keep you updated so we can schedule the next ride, and I’ll drive you around for as long as I can.”

Inappropriate Behaviors to Avoid at All Costs

To ensure our interactions remain respectful, please avoid these hurtful behaviors:

Ghosting (Disappearing): It’s crucial that you never ghost me, which means ignoring my messages or calls without an explanation or failing to reach out entirely. Ghosting breeds severe misunderstandings and deeply hurts my feelings. Let’s always strive for upfront honesty.
Fabricated Excuses: Honesty is foundational to a respectful relationship. Avoid making up stories or insincere justifications, such as claiming to be suddenly ill while actively posting on social media or going out with other friends. It’s equally painful to discover that a prior commitment was intentionally hidden from me beforehand.
Excessive Apologizing: While a sincere apology is necessary, apologizing repeatedly creates an uncomfortable, draining atmosphere. Please express a genuine apology once, and then pivot your focus toward finding a concrete alternative day or time to move forward.

Offering Alternative Days, Times, or Locations

If a car ride needs to be rescheduled, I’m more than willing to find a compromise that suits both of our schedules:

Workplace Proximity: If your workplace is close to mine, I’m happy to take an Uber or Lyft to meet you there if ride-share prices are reasonable. Otherwise, if the distance or cost is too high, the most practical option is for you to pick me up directly from my job when either of us finishes work.
Flexible Openings: If another day works better, I’m always open to scheduling a specific evening or night when there are no conflicting commitments, choosing a weekend day (Saturday or Sunday) that doesn’t conflict with church activities, or finding a window immediately following an event we’re both attending together.

Signs That I Desperately Need a Car Ride

When my stress levels peak, there are distinct behavioral signs you can look out for as a friend or romantic partner:

As a Friend

A Hard Day at Work: I’ll appear physically drained, mentally taxed, weary, and visibly lacking enthusiasm. I’ll explicitly express a yearning to escape work-related stress and seek a liberating change of environment.
Heightened Emotional Irritation: I’ll verbalize feeling completely overwhelmed by life’s demands and other frustrating things—to the point where I feel like I’m about to explode—including the unique complexities of constantly navigating a sighted world. You’ll notice visible tension, restlessness, or irritability in my tone and behavior, whether in person (especially right after something stressful happens), through sudden texts, or during unexpected phone calls (randomly calling one or multiple times, especially going into the evening or night).
A Desire for Solitude: I’ll voice an urgent need to break away from routine and find a peaceful escape from noisy environments, seeking solace in the rhythmic motion of a vehicle.

As a Romantic Partner

Visible Distress: I’ll show clear signs of anxiety, depression, or an elevated emotional state, explicitly emphasizing the therapeutic value and calming effects a car ride provides. If she notices these signs on her own, a gentle check-in or offering to go for a drive can provide immediate comfort and help de-escalate the stress.
A Yearning for Connection: I’ll express a strong desire for emotional support, longing for quality time and focused conversation in a safe, private space where I can freely unburden my mind.
Sensory Overload & Physical Restlessness: You might notice me pacing, becoming uncharacteristically quiet, or deeply fixating on my personal transit media to calm my mind. When environmental stress or post-work exhaustion builds to the point where I feel trapped or unable to settle down, simply grabbing the keys and offering a quiet drive gives me the immediate space and rhythmic motion I need to reset.

The Benefits of a Car Ride on a First Date

While a first date inside a car might seem unconventional to some, it offers unique advantages that heighten emotional connection and build a resilient foundation for a potential couple:

Building Trust and Collaboration: Being in her car allows me to rely on my date’s navigational skills and trust her ability to guide us safely. This shared reliance instantly fosters teamwork, establishing her as a dependable person right from the start.
Facilitating Deep Conversation: Free from the noise and distractions of public venues—such as bars, nightclubs, restaurants, and lounges—the intimate space of her car allows conversation to flow seamlessly. It provides the quiet security needed to share personal stories, fears, and future goals.
Enhancing Communication: Because I rely entirely on verbal cues, a car ride date encourages her to practice clear, descriptive communication while sharpening my own listening skills—establishing healthy, effective communication habits early on.
Sharing a Rich Sensory Journey: A car ride provides a rich, multi-dimensional sensory experience that’s deeply engaging. The hum of the engine, the physical feedback of the road’s vibrations, and the unique scents and sounds of changing environments create a shared journey we can both experience fully.

The Benefits of a Car Ride in a Romantic Relationship

To be completely honest, as I haven’t yet been in a relationship with someone who drives, the prospect of an intimate and romantic car ride holds a world of exciting, unique possibilities for my future:

Embarking on Shared Adventures: The world will suddenly open up to endless possibilities. I imagine the sheer freedom of having a girlfriend who can drive us on spontaneous road trips, scenic routes, and nature excursions—creating cherished memories that were previously out of reach.
Experiencing the World Through Her Eyes: Her vivid, real-time descriptions of scenery, landmarks, and shifting landscapes will paint beautiful pictures in my mind. Through her eyes, I’ll be able to fully immerse myself in the journey right alongside her.
Deepening Emotional and Physical Intimacy: The private, cozy environment of a car creates a serene ambiance completely devoid of outside distractions. This close physical proximity naturally lends itself to reassuring touches—like holding hands, a comforting hand on my shoulder, and intimate, tender moments where we can express our affection freely.
Discovering New Soundscapes: The soundtrack will become an essential piece of our relationship’s story. I look forward to exchanging playlists, exploring new musical genres, and letting those shared melodies add a beautiful harmony to our travels.

Needing More Than One Car Ride Per Week

In some instances, a single car ride may not suffice to meet my needs, and the desire for additional rides arises. The reasons for seeking multiple car rides extend far beyond mere transportation—additional trips offer a valuable opportunity for exploration, relaxation, and personal fulfillment:

Exploration and Adventure: Embracing multiple car rides allows me to explore various destinations, unveiling new areas and embracing the excitement of the unknown. Each journey carries the potential for unique discoveries, introducing me to different sceneries, soundscapes, and experiences that are difficult to encounter within the limits of a single trip.
A Sense of Freedom: Taking multiple car rides provides a profound sense of liberation and independence. As a blind person, venturing beyond my immediate environment through different journeys enables me to break free from daily limitations and expand my horizons—embracing the exhilarating feeling of mobility and open movement.
Self-Reflection and Peace: Car rides offer a serene backdrop for introspection and personal reflection. Engaging in a series of journeys allows me to dedicate time to my own thoughts, detach from the heavy demands of daily life, and find true solace in the peacefulness of the road—deepening my overall sense of tranquility and emotional reset.

My Experiences with Car Rides At My Former Church (2021)

Allow me to share my experiences of asking for car rides at my former church. It was a time when I expected simple kindness from my fellow church members, hoping to save money on ride-sharing services like Uber or Lyft after regular gatherings. However, what I encountered instead was a passive culture around transportation.

I constantly found myself having to take the initiative to reach out to people just to ask for a ride to church and other events. Even when people did inquire, they would constantly ask, “Do you have a ride?”—placing the entire burden back on me to figure it out—rather than stepping up with a direct, welcoming offer like, “Do you need a ride home or to an event?” This subtle distinction reflected a prevailing belief within that community that my transportation was my problem alone to solve, leaving me to do all the work just to be included.

My Rejection Experiences

Several specific rejections stand out in my memory, all of which left me feeling deeply upset.

One instance involved reaching out on Instagram to someone from the student ministry to ask if she would take me for a drive. Unfortunately, she insisted that her boyfriend (now husband) accompany us in the car. Because I didn’t know her very well at the time, I was unable to determine whether this request stemmed from a specific Christian denominational practice or another factor entirely. Regardless of the reason, the rejection deeply hurt me emotionally. I longed for the spirit of compassion and neighborliness that I naturally expected to find within a church community.

On another occasion after a church event, I asked someone to take me to Buffalo Wild Wings. Their non-committal response of ‘I’ll have to see’ left me feeling like an afterthought, as if they were waiting to see if others were going to the restaurant instead. While I understood that there genuinely might not be room for me in her car, the lack of a straightforward answer left me feeling overlooked and unimportant. It was a non-committal rejection that compounded my sadness and frustration.

Fast forward to the day after I attended Celebrate Recovery for the first time, thanks to an invitation from a member. Following a Student Ministry Service, I was fortunate enough to have someone offer to drive me to Buffalo Wild Wings—though she brought her friend along. During the ride, I felt completely isolated from the conversation happening between the two of them in the front seat, while I was stuck in the back. To cope with the heavy feelings of exclusion, I resorted to putting on my headphones and listening to music, creating a protective barrier between us.

Looking back, I recognize that I could’ve advocated for myself to sit in the front seat. At the time, however, I was afraid of facing a direct rejection from the driver or her friend.

Once we arrived at Buffalo Wild Wings, the driver’s friend asked me for my home address. This action immediately upset me. In my opinion, the driver should’ve taken the initiative to ask for my address directly, as she was the one responsible for her car and the journey.

To make matters worse, the exclusion continued at the restaurant. I felt entirely left out of the conversation at the table with them and the other attendees. I firmly believe I shouldn’t have to exhaust myself speaking up every single time just to initiate a conversation or force my way into one.

When we finally reached my house after leaving the restaurant, I was so checked out that I can’t recall the specific final question the driver or her friend asked me. Despite the awkwardness, I still sent a polite text message to the driver later on, thanking her for the ride.

In subsequent text messages, that same driver and I discussed her affinity for driving around for fun and looking at the stars. Taking note of our shared interest, I suggested that we go for a drive together sometime. Her response was a vague “I’ll have to see,” which once again left me feeling uncertain, disappointed, and dismissed inside.

The final rejection of that year came when I reached out to someone else from the Student Ministry on New Year’s Eve of 2021. I was feeling bored and looking for the comfort of a drive. Once again, she insisted on bringing her boyfriend at the time along, silently adding to my frustration and capping off a year of profound disconnection within that community.

A New and Positive Beginning (2022)

At the beginning of 2022, I made the decision to leave my former church behind and begin searching for a genuinely inclusive and open-minded community. The rejections I faced, among other reasons, prompted my departure. The final straw came when I contracted COVID-19 and realized that the basic support I anticipated during such a challenging illness was completely lacking. This painful realization solidified my decision to seek a fresh start elsewhere.

In my new community, I found exactly what I was looking for: a church family that naturally includes me in various activities, including providing reliable transportation to and from events. Even when members have their spouses, partners, or other passengers in the vehicle, they make a concerted effort to ensure I’m never excluded from the experience or the conversation. It’s a true testament to their commitment to welcoming me with open arms and extending genuine care to all members.

I’m also immensely grateful for a wonderful couple from the parish whom I first met when they unexpectedly visited the church office. We remain close friends to this day. I still recall my Pastor (now retired) reaching out to me via email shortly after, offering this couple as a reliable means of transportation to and from church events. Their consistent thoughtfulness and kindness left a lasting impression, solidifying my belief that I’ve finally found a community where I’m truly valued and supported.

An Open Invitation for Growth

For those who still attend my former church, I encourage you to reflect on and implement the following principles:

Be a Good Neighbor: Recognize the profound importance of extending practical help and consistent support to those around you.
Embrace True Inclusivity: Actively practice compassion and ensure that welcoming others is an action, not just a slogan.
Engage in Open Dialogue: Reach out to me at any time. I’m entirely open to sitting down and sharing my experiences to help foster mutual understanding and structural growth.
Create a Visible Space: Cultivate an environment within the pews and the cars where everyone feels seen, heard, and valued.
Prioritize Empathy: Strive daily to ensure that no single individual is left feeling excluded or overlooked.
Be Proactive: Don’t wait for someone in need to exhaust themselves asking—take the initiative to extend a helping hand.

The church should always be a sanctuary of compassion, love, fellowship, understanding, and community building. By embodying these principles and actively practicing inclusivity, we can create a genuinely welcoming environment for all.

Please feel free to reach out to me at any time. I’m always here to lend an ear and share my journey with you. Let us come together as good neighbors, supporting and uplifting one another, no matter where we are on our path.

My Experience During My Teen Years

During my high school days at a school for the blind, I experienced moments of deep envy while watching others celebrate getting their driver’s licenses on social media.

As I scrolled through posts where people my age excitedly shared their newfound freedom, I couldn’t help but feel a sharp pang of isolation. I longed for that standard teenage experience—to fully fit in with peers who enjoyed the spontaneous freedom of going out, riding around, and engaging in lighthearted, effortless conversations. It was especially difficult because, deep down, I constantly yearned to be picked up and driven around just like my peers, sharing in the camaraderie and spontaneity that naturally comes with a car ride.

In my mind, I frequently pictured scenarios of friends or partners picking each other up, laughing, and holding meaningful conversations while navigating the roads together. Those moments of genuine connection and shared experience always seemed just out of reach for me, simply because I was blind and attending a different school.

Even when I connected with new people online during those days, the topic of driving was always close to the surface. In conversations, I would frequently ask if they would be willing to take me for a drive if we were ever to meet in person. The profound desire to ride around with someone, engaging in conversations that flowed naturally without barriers, became a defining and recurring theme in my interactions.

My Experience As An Adult

As an adult, I still find myself bringing up the topic of car rides in almost every initial interaction, often asking people if they enjoy driving around for fun. This is particularly true when I meet someone new, whether online or in social settings. Over time, I’ve realized that my consistent focus on this topic stems from a deep longing for the distinct sense of freedom and connection that comes from being in a car—an experience I was largely denied during my younger years.

I still experience moments of frustration and envy when I’m omitted from social outings, particularly when groups of people head to places or events in the community that I’d thoroughly enjoy. This is especially true on Friday and Saturday nights when friends go out to local venues, gatherings, or events without extending an invitation. Navigating these moments of exclusion is challenging, especially since the lack of reliable public transit infrastructure forces me to depend entirely on ride-sharing services like Uber or Lyft. Alternatively, I’m left having to meticulously arrange a ride far in advance, rather than simply having someone from the same group accompany me. Being left out in this manner highlights a distinct lack of the spontaneity and camaraderie that comes with being naturally included in mutual plans.

This feeling of isolation can also surface when I see social media posts, live streams, or videos of friends sharing a car ride, whether they’re traveling with a partner or just driving around alone for fun. Even posts showing people simply driving and listening to music can serve as a reminder of that barrier. While I’m not the type who prefers blasting incredibly loud music, I deeply value the opportunity to be in the passenger seat, riding around, exploring new areas, and having a safe space to vent about what’s on my mind.

A Standing Invitation to Connect

If you’re planning a drive in the future with no specific destination in mind, or if you’re simply looking to get out of the house for a while, please don’t hesitate to reach out to me via phone or text. If my schedule is clear, particularly after work, in the evening, or late at night, I’d welcome the opportunity to join you, ride along, and hang out.
For a closer look at my specific preferences and safety boundaries, please refer to the Inviting Me On A Car Ride section of this guide.

Imagining a Car Ride With a Romantic Partner While Falling Asleep

As I drift off to sleep each night, my mind often creates a peaceful space of comfort and possibility, weaving together reflections of what true connection looks like to me.

In these reflections, I imagine a romantic partner at the wheel, expertly navigating the open roads, highways, and interstates. As we travel together, the melody and clarity of her voice fill the quiet space of the car, bringing an immediate sense of calm and reassurance.

Within this shared space, the car becomes a place of complete freedom and mutual trust. Often, our conversations flow effortlessly over the steady hum of the engine. We discuss our hopes, dreams, and futures, sharing the deeper corners of our minds. It’s a space where I can freely vent about what’s on my mind, knowing she’s truly listening, supporting me, and simply being there for me. Her clear, melodic voice stands out as a constant source of tenderness and understanding as we navigate the journey together.

At other times, we simply find comfort in a tranquil, shared silence. The steady rumble of the tires against the asphalt serves as a backdrop to the rhythm of the drive. In these quiet moments, she reaches over—her hand finding mine across the center console or resting gently on my knee, before softly resting her hand on my shoulder. That reassuring physical connection grounds me, letting me feel her presence right beside me. Her touch is soft, warm, and intentional—a silent affirmation of partnership in the midst of a shared journey.

As we embrace the open road, I’m fully tuned in to the environment around us: the physical sensation of the wind rushing through the windows, the changing landscapes unfolding outside, and the continuous pulse of the road beneath the tires. Together, we immerse ourselves in the momentum of the drive, finding a unique peace in the simple act of moving forward side by side.

As I finally surrender to sleep, I carry these reflections with me. I hold onto this vision, knowing that it represents the genuine camaraderie, physical safety, and deep emotional connection I look forward to translating into a tangible reality on the open road.

Feeling Envious When Others Drive with Their Windows Down

When I see or hear people driving around with their windows down, a strong sense of envy takes hold of me. The pure sense of freedom and openness they exude is something I deeply yearn for in my own life. Although I’m now experiencing that specific feeling while riding in the front seat more often as I get older, I constantly crave more opportunities to let the fresh air in, leave the stress behind, and truly unwind.

For me, a car ride isn’t just about transportation—it’s a vital space to release built-up pressure and vent to someone who can keep our conversations completely confidential. Whether it’s with a close friend or a romantic partner who truly understands me, I envision going on these dedicated car rides every one or two weeks. I look to adjust that frequency based entirely on my current stress levels and the amount of overwhelm I’m facing, particularly when dealing with heavy workloads or challenging situations.

Having a trusted confidant who explicitly assures me of their discretion regarding our discussions is of the utmost importance. Knowing with absolute certainty that I can openly express my rawest thoughts and emotions without worrying about that information leaking out provides a profound sense of comfort and safety. During these rides, the physical sensation of moving forward with the windows down allows me to fully unburden myself, finding true solace in the empathetic, quiet presence of a trusted passenger-seat companion.

The Frequency and the Duration Of Car Rides

The frequency of these car rides is designed to be highly flexible, adapting directly to my fluctuating emotional state and stress levels. During calmer periods, a single car ride a week—or even every couple of weeks—might be perfectly sufficient. However, if life becomes intensely overwhelming, I may look to increase the frequency to two or three times a week, giving me a consistent space to vent and find emotional release.

In rare moments when I’m feeling so overwhelmed that I’m about to explode, these car rides become an immediate need rather than a scheduled outing. During those intense times, getting in a car with a trusted confidant—letting the fresh air in, moving forward, and venting without judgment—is the most effective way for me to decompress, regain my composure, and process what I’m feeling before hitting a complete breaking point.

The Duration

Regardless of whether the windows are up or down, a long car ride typically brings me immense happiness. The foundational act of riding in a car, combined with the opportunity to safely process my emotions, provides a profound sense of contentment.

I find that longer drives lasting anywhere from an hour and a half to two or three hours or up to four hours have the greatest positive impact on my mental clarity, offering ample time for deep introspection and rejuvenation. However, if a drive needs to be shorter than an hour and a half due to someone’s busy schedule, that’s entirely fine as well—the primary goal is simply being on the move and having a dedicated space to talk through what’s on my mind.

Road Trips and Curiosity

Beyond local drives, the idea of embarking on a small road trip to a neighboring city or actively exploring rural back roads fuels my excitement for adventure and satisfies my natural curiosity.

These extended journeys create the perfect, comfortable environment for my curiosity to thrive. I joyfully use this shared time to ask a wide range of questions, spanning from lighthearted, casual observations to deep, philosophical discussions. These rides naturally become vibrant exchanges of ideas and knowledge, further deepening the mutual connection between us.

Ultimately, my need for a trustworthy confidant, the emotional release of a long drive, and the excitement of exploring back roads remain core to my well-being. Together, navigating the open road allows us to explore new destinations, satisfy a thirst for knowledge, and build lasting memories along the way.

Decompressing After Conferences, Summits, Trainings, etc., with Emotional Topics

Participating in multi-day conferences, summits, professional trainings, and other events requires a high level of social and mental energy. When these sessions address sensitive, emotional, or deeply personal topics, the emotional load becomes even heavier on me.

Moving directly from an intense group environment into complete isolation or immediate formal debriefs can be jarring. In these moments, requesting a car ride is a deliberate strategy to process what I’ve experienced:

Duration Scaled to Emotional Depth: The time needed on the road depends directly on how emotional or sensitive the topic was. While a lighter topic might only take a brief moment to process, heavy or emotionally intense subjects require a significantly longer car ride—typically 30 minutes to an hour or more—to fully settle my mind. A quick 10-to-20-minute drive around a campus or local area simply doesn’t provide enough runway when dealing with high emotional weight.
Riding with No Destination in Mind: For post-event, session, or training day decompression, it’s crucial that the car ride is unstructured, with no immediate destination or personal round-trip errands to run. Simply cruising open roads or scenic routes without a set stop allows my mind to wander and release stress naturally, rather than focusing on arriving somewhere next.
A Transitional Buffer: The steady motion of a car creates a physical and sensory “decompression chamber.” It allows my nervous system to step down smoothly after hours of high engagement.
Processing Heavy Information: Sensitive and heavy, emotional topics require time to digest. Riding in a car provides the space to sit with emotional weight and organize my thoughts without feeling put on the spot to immediately analyze or discuss them.
Low-Demand Connection: Side-by-side seating eliminates the pressure of constant eye contact. It allows me to share space with a friend, peer, or someone that I trust in a calm, low-stakes setting while I reset.

Understanding this context helps organizers, peers, and friends realize that asking for a drive following an event isn’t an attempt to withdraw—it’s an active tool to preserve my emotional well-being and process important experiences.

Travel Disruptions: Delayed and/or Canceled Flights

Navigating airports and air travel already requires intense focus and energy. When flights are severely delayed, canceled, or frozen due to airplane maintenance or bad weather—especially when forced to board and deplane multiple times—the sudden loss of control, changing schedules, and chaotic terminal environments can rapidly trigger intense stress and sensory overload.

During travel disruptions that last all day (over six hours)—where I end up having to stay overnight at a hotel near the airport or extend my stay while friends, peers, and fellow attendees depart on separate flights and transit options the next day or later that week—desperately needing a car ride serves as a critical release valve:

Breaking the Paralysis of Ground Stops and Deplaning Loops: Sitting stranded during a ground stop or repeatedly getting on and off an airplane creates an exhausting roller coaster of helplessness and anxiety. Getting completely away from the airport for an open-ended car ride breaks that overwhelming sensory loop and restores a sense of personal movement and control.
Navigating Staggered Departures and Social Shift: Staying behind or hanging in limbo while friends, peers, and fellow attendees pack up and depart on different schedules creates an unsettling social dynamic. Stepping out for an unstructured car ride provides immediate physical relief from sensory overload and helps process the sudden transition.
Processing Frustration on the Move: Very long flight delays, sudden cancellations, and gate changes force unexpected plan revisions, interactions with gate agents, and the stress of listening to frustrated passengers trying to get home, go on vacation, or travel for business. Riding in a car gives me a private, moving space to vent my frustration, process the disruption, and regain emotional composure without feeling trapped at a gate or a hotel lobby that I’m unfamiliar with.
A Safe Buffer During Extended Stays: When ground stops and travel disruptions stretch into an unexpected overnight stay, an unstructured 30-to-60-minute (or longer) car ride around the area where I’m staying—or along local backroads and open routes—with no destination in mind offers a sense of freedom and movement, turning a chaotic delay into a calming, restorative experience.

Pre-Planned Backup Contingencies for Late-Night Disruptions and Cancellations

When flights are severely delayed, canceled, or when I or other travel companions reschedule flights for the next day to avoid flying or arriving home after dark—especially during late-night or early-morning hours after 7:45 PM, midnight, or through 6:00 AM—a formal backup plan must immediately take effect. Organizers, trainers, and peers must establish pre-aligned contingencies—such as guaranteed rideshare vouchers (e.g., Lyft Credits) to the airport, a hotel, or rented lodging that I and my travel companions feel comfortable staying at, a trusted pre-arranged driver at the departing airport that I or other travel companions are stranded at, or explicit, proactive check-ins—so I’m never left stranded at a Metro station or forced to navigate up escalators to street level alone after dark, facing the risk of strangers mocking my blindness—especially my use of Meta Glasses—by making ableist comments like “do you see me?” and other passive-aggressive remarks when I ask for help. Clear communication and pre-planned logistics prevent serious safety risks while waiting outside of the Metro Station for a rideshare, eliminate unexpected financial strain, and ensure a smooth, dignified transition to safe lodging.

Building a Car Ride Support Team

To ensure that both I and other non-drivers who enjoy riding around have reliable access to car rides when sensory overload or emotional stress peaks, I’m advocating for the creation of a Car Ride Support Team.

Instead of relying on random availability or placing the expectation entirely on just one or two people, a support team builds a network of willing drivers who genuinely enjoy spending time on the road:

Observant and Proactive Check-Ins: The car ride support team works both ways. Friends, organizers, and/or peers are encouraged to take the initiative and reach out—whether they notice me getting emotional or overwhelmed across a room (such as in a lecture hall or ballroom) or sense my stress through sudden texts, audio/voice messages, or phone calls. Asking if I’d like to step out, ride around, vent, or just relax eliminates the anxiety of always having to ask first, making the support feel completely attentive, mutual, and welcoming.
Building Genuine Connections and Getting to Know One Another: Beyond sensory regulation, these car rides offer a dedicated, comfortable setting for both of us to get to know one another on a deeper level. Free from the noise and pressure of busy venues, a car ride creates a low-stakes environment where I can build genuine friendships, share stories, and connect naturally while exploring open roads together.
Preventing Extreme Transit Escalations and High Rideshare Costs: When local car rides at conferences, summits, trainings, and other events aren’t available during moments of intense overwhelm or acute stress, my desperate urge to find sensory relief can push me to run off to a public transit system—such as taking a WMATA Metro train just to ride back and forth. When I can’t afford a Lyft or rideshare to get to a station, I’m left stranded in a high-stress state with nowhere to go. As detailed in The Consequences section of this guide—where I recently ended up riding the Metro very early in the morning—an established car ride support team provides an immediate, safe alternative before that financial and emotional strain escalates into a crisis.
A Dedicated Space for Venting and Emotional Release: A core function of the car ride support team is providing a confidential, safe environment where I can unburden my mind after a long day. Friends, organizers, and peers on this team understand that a car ride may involve heavy venting, processing frustration, or simply working through my thoughts out loud without judgment or unsolicited advice.
Shared & Distributed Community Support: Having a roster of pre-screened friends, organizers, and peers means no single individual feels pressured or overwhelmed. When I need a car ride—especially following a long day, a high-energy conference, or an emotionally draining session—I can post a request to the group chat (e.g., Signal, WhatsApp, GroupMe) or directly call a trusted person from the car ride support team who I know, trust, and vibe with, allowing whoever is free to step up.
Pre-Aligned Context and Expectations: Every person on the car ride support team understands the core purpose of these car rides. They know that my goal is emotional regulation, decompression, or quiet processing—lasting anywhere from 30 minutes to an hour with no specific destination in mind—creating a completely judgment-free environment.
A Win-Win for Everyone: This network connects me and other non-drivers who enjoy riding around with friends, organizers, and peers who naturally find driving therapeutic or enjoyable. It transforms a car ride from a simple favor into a mutually relaxing, shared activity.

By organizing a dedicated car ride support team, we can turn a recurring challenge into a reliable, community-centered solution that protects mental health, builds genuine connections, and keeps everyone supported on open roads.

My Preferred Car Ride

While I thoroughly enjoy attending social events, community meetings, and exploring new places, my absolute preference is for car rides with no destination in mind. For me, the true value lies in simply riding around to see where the road takes us while talking openly about whatever is on our minds. I love navigating through a city, exploring local town roads, or heading out to discover quiet routes in the country.

When it comes to specific routes, I’ve got a strong affinity for scenic drives. I genuinely enjoy the momentum of riding on open highways and rural roads, especially during long, unstructured drives where the journey itself is the main focus.

The conversational environment inside the car usually depends entirely on my current mood. Often, I prefer to use the time to talk through what’s on my mind, actively working to keep an engaging conversation going with my companion. However, there are also times when I prefer to just ride around in complete silence—particularly as a calm way to decompress after venting a lot, or simply to immerse myself in the rhythm of the drive.

Offering To Pay for Car Rides

I fully understand that dedicated car rides utilize a significant amount of fuel. With the rising cost of gas due to ongoing inflation, I’m more than happy to financially compensate you for driving me around.

I’m completely open to negotiating a fair price that is comfortable and equitable for both of us, depending on the distance traveled and the amount of fuel used during the ride. It’s important to me that our arrangement is built on mutual respect, ensuring that your time, effort, and vehicle are always fully appreciated and supported.

Educating and Spreading Awareness

As I’ve grown older and gained deeper perspective, I’ve fully embraced my identity as a blind person and a dedicated community advocate.

I’m deeply proud of who I am and the unique perspective I bring to the world. Through this journey, I’ve realized that intentional education and open communication are the absolute keys to helping others understand my specific needs and goals—such as the profound role that shared car rides play in fostering genuine friendships and building romantic relationships.

By sharing my lived experiences and raising awareness, my goal is to help create a more empathetic and truly inclusive society. It’s through these collective efforts that we can foster deep understanding, bridge social gaps, and build lasting human connections that completely transcend physical limitations.

Why I Prefer to Ride in the Front Seat

Just like anyone else, I have distinct preferences when it comes to seating arrangements in a vehicle. When we hit the road, my absolute favorite spot is the front passenger seat, right beside you. Here is why riding shotgun is so meaningful to me:

The Soundscape: Sitting in the front allows me to fully immerse myself in a rich tapestry of sound. The steady hum of the engine, the clear melody of your voice, and the wind rustling outside all work together to paint a vivid physical picture of the world around us.
The Sense of Direction: Being in the front seat helps me actively piece together the journey. I can physically feel the angles of the turns, changes in acceleration, and the shifting textures of the road beneath the tires. This tactile feedback allows me to form a clear mental map of our route, fostering a strong sense of spatial awareness.
The Shared Experience: The front seat positions me as your co-pilot—a true partner in navigating the landscape. From this vantage point, I can offer input, ask questions, and share casual observations, transforming the journey into a collaborative adventure.
The Feeling of Connection: Sharing the front seat creates a close, shared space where I can naturally sense your presence. The proximity, the sound of your breathing, and the overall environment all contribute to a deep sense of connection that transcends visual boundaries.
The Openness to the World: The front seat offers an unobstructed orientation to the open road ahead. While I may not see the physical scenery unfolding outside, I can vividly feel the anticipation and momentum build as we approach a new destination.
The Conversation Flow: Sitting directly next to you allows for an effortless, naturally flowing conversation. There’s no need to raise our voices or strain to hear; I can easily participate, sharing my thoughts and listening to yours without any physical barriers.
The Foundation of Trust: Your willingness to share the front seat speaks volumes about the mutual respect in our friendship or relationship. It demonstrates trust, consideration, and a genuine desire to include me fully in the core experience of the drive.
Shared Laughter and Joy: The front seat naturally becomes a safe zone for shared laughter and vulnerability. We can talk openly about what’s on our minds, comfortably vent about current stressors, and simply enjoy each other’s company, creating lasting memories along the way.
A Sense of Security: Sitting next to you provides an immediate sense of safety and comfort. Knowing you’re confidently at the wheel and I’m right beside you allows me to fully relax and appreciate the rhythm of the drive.
A Unique Perspective: Riding shotgun offers an entirely different sensory perspective than sitting in the back seat. It allows me to feel directly connected to the mechanics of the road and more involved in the act of traveling, making the entire journey infinitely more meaningful.

Of course, your friends, partners, or family members are always more than welcome to join our adventures. I simply appreciate a quick heads-up beforehand so I can easily adjust my expectations for the conversation and the overall social dynamics within the car.

Ultimately, riding in the front seat is about much more than just a physical location. It’s a powerful way to connect, share the distinct joys of exploration, and build a lasting bond. So, the next time we schedule a drive or you pick me up for an outing, remember that the front seat awaits a co-pilot who’s ready to experience the world with you—one sound, one turn, and one shared laugh at a time.

Olivia Rodrigo’s “Drivers License”

Whenever I hear Olivia Rodrigo’s “Drivers License,” it strikes a deep chord within me, instantly triggering a strong desire to get out and ride around with someone with no destination in mind. The track does more than just touch my heart—it deeply resonates with my yearnings for the open road, where the specific destination matters far less than the shared companionship, trust, and connection inside the car.

Content and Media Note

Content Advisory: Please note that the official music video for “Drivers License” contains explicit language, so viewer discretion is advised.
Audio Preferences: For those who prefer the clean or radio-edited version of the track, it’s readily available for streaming or digital purchase across all major music platforms.

Interacting with Me

For a comprehensive understanding of how to confidently engage with me as a blind person across various social settings—including shared car rides—I highly encourage you to check out my dedicated guide. If you’re reading this online, click the link below. If you’re reading a physical copy, simply scan the QR code with your phone camera:

Read: A guide to interacting with me

This guide offers valuable insights designed to foster respectful, inclusive interactions, helping us build a stronger connection and ensuring our shared experiences are meaningful for both of us.

Final Thoughts

As I bring this guide to a close, I extend a personal challenge to each of you. Let’s look toward the future with an actionable, intentional mindset by reaching out to someone who is unable to drive due to a disability or transportation barriers and offering them a car ride. By doing so, you’ve got the unique opportunity to bring joy, connection, and liberation to someone who may feel isolated at home. Furthermore, simply offering to transport someone to and from a mutual event can alleviate the heavy financial burden of relying constantly on ride-sharing services like Uber or Lyft.

Together, let’s make a tangible difference through these seven actionable steps:

Cultivate Empathy and Awareness: Start by genuinely immersing yourself in the lived experiences of people with disabilities who can’t drive. Deepen your appreciation for the challenges they face, their deep yearning for independence, and the substantial financial impact of relying entirely on ride-sharing services.
Identify Someone in Your Circle: Look within your social network, workplace, or local community for people who have expressed a desire to get out more but are limited by lack of accessible, affordable, and reliable transportation. Reach out to them, expressing your genuine intention to provide a ride and help decrease their reliance on expensive ride-sharing services.
Extend a Heartfelt Offer: Approach the conversation with absolute sincerity and empathy. Let them know that you’re there for them and happy to give them a ride. Reassure them that this gesture is about much more than just saving money—it’s about fostering genuine connections and enhancing each other’s quality of life.
Plan for a Comfortable Outing: Prioritize the comfort, safety, and specific accessibility needs of the ride. Discuss their preferences beforehand and accommodate them smoothly. If you’re both attending the same community event or meeting, propose picking them up and driving them back home, highlighting the convenience and peace of mind of traveling with a familiar, friendly face.
Make it Memorable and Engaging: Collaborate with them to map out an outing that directly aligns with their personal interests. Whether it’s attending a local gathering, exploring scenic back roads, or heading to a recreational activity, ensure the experience is mutually enjoyable and entirely inclusive.
Foster a Warm, Supportive Atmosphere: During the drive, create an environment filled with natural conversation, camaraderie, and laughter. Show genuine interest in their thoughts, observations, and experiences, ensuring they feel completely valued and included throughout the journey.
Pass It Along to Your Network: Share your experiences and the positive impact these shared drives have on your life. Encourage others in your community to take up this challenge. You can easily advocate for this cause by sharing this guide with them via text, email, or social media, or by simply showing it to someone directly from your phone. Together, we can build a compassionate, inclusive network of community support.

Remember, by accepting this challenge, you have the power to make a profound difference in someone’s life. Offering a car ride provides vital practical transportation, but it also symbolizes the profound care, understanding, and mutual bonds that can be forged between neighbors. Let’s break down systemic barriers and empower one another to thrive. Take the wheel of compassion and embark on this remarkable journey of connection and kindness.

Thank You for Reading!

Thank you for taking the time to read this guide. I hope it has provided you with valuable insight into my personal experiences, my identity as an advocate, and how meaningful shared car rides are for my well-being and stress regulation.
Please don’t hesitate to reach out if you have any questions, reflections, or feedback regarding this guide. I look forward to connecting with you!

Scan the below QR Code to go directly to this guide on my website: